2024-04-30
i've got adhd. not a lot, but enough to where i suck at getting things done and staying motivated.
that's not very fun when trying to start or finish something, be it programming, writing, learning something new, all of them at once or whatever else. school stuff as well, it's a miracle they can even give me a grade in more open-ended assignments.
when i've actually started working on something, though, and gotten into that kind of "flow state", it's hard to get me to stop, and if i do, i'll probably never work on it again unless i really have to, either because i won't be motivated or because i'll realize how much whatever i created sucks. i'm basically forced to finish almost everything in one sitting, with maybe a few breaks of at most up to 3-4 hours, but towards the end there's a big chance i'll just start over.
so what's the solution to this? i dunno.
i can't just force myself to do it, cause it doesn't feel like it was worth it when i've gotten into it like everyone says it does. if i don't really feel like doing it, it's not gonna be fun.
so, despite my awful productivity, i'll just keep doing whatever my heart tells me to or whatever, and never actually finish stuff.
where the fuck was i going with all this? feels unfinished...
anything to say? email me!
written by flat - generated with pog!